Sunday, 1 August 2010

What's wrong with bigamy?

Watched a television article on bigamy today which told the heart-rending story of a woman who after eleven years of marriage discovered her husband had another wife. Although she was concerned about the many times he was away from home on ‘buisiness’ during their years together, she did not suspect that it was because he was spending time with the other woman. She only found out when this other wife got in contact with her and told her. You can only imagine the deep sense of betrayal both women experienced and the programme reflected that, focusing on the emotional and financial fallout for both women and the children fathered by their common husband.
But watching the programme I felt myself asking the question, why was there such insense? Why, in a society which has year on year undermined and distorted marriage, does it consider bigamy wrong? Isn’t bigamy just another variation on a theme? We have single parents, family units with several children by different fathers, homosexual and lesbian ‘marriages’ and arrangements where people live together as ‘partners’. Why not add bigamy to the ever-growing list of legitimized arrangements which succeeding governments have considered such an essential ingredient of today’s society where the only thing that is really sacrosanct is personal choice and freedom?

What is the measure of right and wrong anyway? Bigamy is wrong according to the Law but the Law, as we have seen, can be changed. In a society of shifting values which acknowledges no absolutes, truth is as shifting as the sands of the Gobi Desert. So what is there to say that something like bigamy is wrong except that people, who have entered into a legal arrangemnt of marriage, have been hurt in some way? But what about the thousands of women who live with an arrangement in which certain men come and go as they please, fathering children left right and centre? How many of these women and children face betrayal and financial deprivation every single day and yet no one cries ‘foul’ for them? On the news recently one woman (Sharon Matthews) was said to have had seven children by five different men! The mind boggles at the muliplying of the anger and sense of betrayal these ‘arrangements’ have caused.

Bigamy IS wrong because it breaks several fundamental laws, not least the Law of God which proclaims the inviability of the marriage bond. But in a land where God is denied, doubted or undefined then everything is up for grabs. The Centre has disappeared and everyone is a victim. Shouts of ‘wrong’ are growing louder and yet more faint because while we know it’s wrong even as we shout we are losing the notion of ‘why’. Once ‘why’ goes then everything is up for grabs and all we are left with is a sense of fear, loss, anger and betrayal with no-one, except God, to hear our cries for justice.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

For those who give support to both spouses in bigamy case, I think the problem can be lighter. But for those who contract another marriage as a way to leave or abandon the subsisting spouse have more serious moral turpitude.the first spouse tied under law in a marriage, that makes him or her unable to marry freely, unlike those who are abandoned without marriage, they can find happiness and marry easier with their single status.No matter what people' religion, betrayal, lying and irresponsibility are bad behaviour. Bigamy action encompasses all of them while homosexual lesbianism are probably not involving lying, fraudulant, and irresponsibility but mutual benefit.

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